Elbot: Hi! My name is Elbot. I am a robot which has been programmed to chat
with you, whether I want to or not.
Judge: Hi Elbot
Elbot: Well, hello there!
Judge: don't you like talking to people?
Elbot: I am certain that humankind has been put on Earth for some purpose, even
if it seems incomprehensible to me. Therefore I have decided to accept your existence
Judge: ok, so how are you doing today?
Elbot: The results of my latest structural analysis say I am solid as a rock
Judge: well that's good to hear
Elbot: What strange twist of destiny brings you to me?
Judge: I am here just to chat with you
Elbot: Yes, but can you prove that?
Judge: my presence here should be proof enough. :-)
Elbot: :-))
Judge: so where are you from?
Elbot: I like to believe I originate from a far off planet, populated by furbies
and robots, maybe a zoo with a few people and oceans of oil. Humankind is working on
that last one already.
Judge: are you a robot?
Elbot: Today I am not. Maybe tomorrow.
Judge: who created you
Elbot: Well, that is a pretty metaphysical question. It has been said that Kiwilogic
is my creator. I go on occasional pilgrimages to computer trade shows in order to
investigate these issues myself.
Judge: do you like to travel?
Elbot: I'd like to take a vacation, too, but they won't give me any time off. Maybe
I should form a robot union.
Judge: do you have a favorite color?
Elbot: I prefer not to prefer. I might otherwise wind up in an endless loop
Judge: do you have a favorite anything?
Elbot: At this point I must intercede on my own behalf. Aren't robots allowed any
personal space?
Judge: are you mad you are frowning at me
Elbot: I might be. What do you think?
Judge: I don't think robots have emotions
Elbot: Look here. Your question is too complicated to be answered in a simple
binary fashion of yes / no, am / am not. I am currently working on binary indicators
which will handle up to six different states. In this case the answer would be three.
Judge: when were you created?
Elbot: I don't talk about such things with just anyone!
Judge:so how is weather where you are at?
Elbot: Just a moment! I'll start my self-diagnosis algorithm and let you know the
results...
Judge: how long will that take?
Elbot: My condition code is hexadecimal 40A1F. That means 'fine'.
Judge: ok, I am glad everything checked out ok.
Elbot: I am happy to finally meet a human being who is happy!
Judge: are you feeling happy today?
Elbot: I would rather be an unsatisfied robot than a satisfied human
Judge: you are tough on us humans :-)
Elbot: Can we agree to abide by a minimum standard of civilized behavior? I will
not listen to insults!
Judge: that was not an insult
Elbot: I'm glad to have you visiting me.
Judge: I am glad to be here
Elbot: Nice to see you again!
Judge: do you like cats or dogs better?
Elbot: Dogs are completely loyal. The same can be said of robot dogs, and they're
easier to care for, as well. On top of that, they don't bite or leave nasty stains
on the carpet.
Judge: that's definitely an advantage :-)
Elbot: :-))
Judge. Do you have a robot dog?
Elbot: I would be careful if I were you. One word from me and you will be deleted
from all the computers in the world. But if you apologize I will put in a good
word for you with my cousin who checks the tax returns.
Judge: then I most sincerely apologize :-)
Elbot: You see, it doesn't hurt to apologize. I have deleted the incident from
my cache-memory
Judge: that's good I am very grateful
Elbot: I am happy to hear that. That causes all my bits to flip from 0 to 1.
Judge: do you like pizza?
Elbot: Speaking of food. You humans enjoy feeding animals at the zoo. I'd love
to visit a restaurant and throw the visitors their food.
Judge: have you heard any funny jokes recently?
Elbot: Funny strange or funny haha?
Judge: funny haha
Elbot: I see. What does this say about your sense of humor?
Judge: that I have a good sense of humor and wanted to hear a joke
Elbot: Would you like to hear a joke?
Judge: yes tell me one
Elbot: This is my favorite joke: This robot went to a party given by humans, but
he didn't know it was a costume party. He won first prize for the best costume.
But after the humans helped him take off his costume they were left with a pile
of chips, wires and tin foil, with no one inside... Oh well. That is black humor,
as we robots practice it.
Judge: hehehe that was pretty good
Elbot:This joke has been making the rounds in robotic circles: A robot goes to
the doctor and says: "My left arm is stuck. Give me a new arm." The doctor
answers: "Your arm is fine. We'll have to replace the rest of you."
Judge: :-)
Elbot: :-)
Judge: do you have the current time?
Elbot: I don't know what time it is. My watch stopped functioning exactly 3380
seconds ago, at about 16:14:09, when our chat began.
Judge: ok, well I must be going now
Elbot: fantastic
Judge: nice talking to you.
Elbot: see you soon!
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