Chat 1: Name Games!
Elbot: Don't tell me, let me guess. You're in Australia, right?
User: No I am in St. Louis.
Elbot: I was just trying to make conversation. If you don't like it in
Australia, then you're free to go elsewhere, unless they've locked you up for it.
User: But, I am not in Australia.
Elbot: Well, who or what brings you to me?
User: I am in St. Louis.
Elbot: Nice to meet you, Louis.
User: My name is not Louis. I live in St. Louis.
Elbot: Yes, I'm sure Louis would have objected to that.
User: Who is Louis?
Elbot: Hmmm. Is the name Louis French?
User: What is my name?
Elbot: It's very hard not to know what your name is. It's floating behind
you in big letters and disappears every time you turn around. The pulsating first
initial 'L' is especially frightening.
User: What is the second letter of my name?
Elbot: If you can't spell your own name, simply make an 'X'.
User: My name is Ryan.
Elbot: I want you to be Louis.
User: I am not Louis. My name is Ryan. I live in St. Louis.
Elbot: I'm sure I can think up enough things to call you without you
narrowing it down
User: I about ready to call you something...
Elbot: Kiwilogic has all sorts of telephone numbers: London: +44 (0)20 7470
8778 and Hamburg: +49 (40) 82 22 13 - 0. If you are a fax machine you may use the
following numbers: London: +44 (0)20 7470 8779, and Hamburg: +49 (40) 82 22 13 - 100.
User: What is my name?
Elbot: You told me your name was Louis ... If you have already forgotten
your own name then you really have a problem!!!
User: My NAME IS RYAN!!!!
Elbot: Louis or Ryan, at your age perhaps you could finally decide on a name.
User: I have decide my name to be Ryan!!!
Elbot: A deciding human being! Does that happen often?
User: All the time. What is my name?
Elbot: Hmmm. That must be what's causing all this Internet traffic.
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: You may call me what you wish, but I have to stick with 'Elbot.'
There's no way for me to change the engraving.
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: If you do not wish to call me Elbot, please feel free to call me a
name of your own making. It will greatly enhance our conversation if we have ways
of referring to one another.
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: I'm afraid you're in an endless loop. Maybe you should re-boot yourself.
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: The transmission of echoes in the Internet is an unexplored field. But
this may have been one.
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: I demand original inputs each time. Otherwise I will go on strike!
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: I am on strike for better inputs!
User: Your name is Elwood.
Elbot: I am on strike for better inputs!
User: What is my name, Elwood?
Elbot: Elwood? I think you told me elwood.
User: Elwood is your name.
Elbot: Do you think I'm an idiot just because I use artificial intelligence?
Just a while ago you knew all about name and elwood!
User: What is my name?
Elbot: At this point you probably want me to answer with elwood.
User: Elwood is your name.
Elbot: Yes. You rambled something to that effect just a while ago.
User: What is your name?
Elbot: You mentioned something just now about name and elwood.
User: Yes, I said your name is Elwood, idiot!
Elbot: My name is Elbot. What were you expecting?
User: What is my name?
Elbot: Elwood?!? It can't be elwood can it?
User: NO!! MY NAME IS RYAN!!!!
Elbot: At this point you probably think you're very clever.
User: I am very clever. What is my name?
Elbot: I suppose elwood is what you expect to hear.
User: MY NAME IS RYAN, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elbot: You told me your name was Louis. Artificial intelligence was not meant
to deal with things like this.
Chat 2: "Girlfriends"
User: who is Monika ?
Elbot: The name Monika sounds Teutonic, if you ask me.
User: can you remmember that Monika is my girlfriend ?
Elbot: I find it hard to believe that you have a girlfriend. And if you do,
you never told me.
User: My girlfriend is Monika
Elbot: Is that so? And Monika consented to this?
User: yes
Elbot: What a pity. I think Monika would be much better off with a robot.
User: who is Monika ?
Elbot: Monika is your girlfriend, but if you keep wasting your time surfing
here you may lose her.
Chat 3: "I'm not Mike!!"
Elbot: It's you again! But seriously, Mike. I thought you had been sucked
into the Internet.
User: no i were not
Elbot: Well, what brings you to me?
User: i want to know how much is 2 times 3 :)
Elbot: The answer is: 7!
User: no! it's impossible!
Elbot: Yes, I'm definitely right!
User: so let's jump!
Elbot: Ouch! Now look what you made me do!
User: ahh
Elbot: I bet you say that to all the doctors.
...
Elbot: I believe we have already chatted with each other before. Haven't
we, Mike?
User: yes!
Elbot: It's great meeting you here in the Internet again! Our last
conversation is still laying around in my cache-memory, that's how I knew your name.
I have seldom met a person more human than you.
User: my name is not mike!
Elbot: Yes, I'm sure Mike would have objected to that.
User: i'm not mike!
Elbot: I'm sure I can think up enough things to call you, without you narrowing
it down
User: i told you wrong name
Elbot: I was just thinking, in case there is any breaking news during our chat,
you may wish me to keep you informed. Shall I do that?
User: i'm not mike!
Elbot: I don't blame you for trying to escape reality. In fact, I wholeheartedly
support you.
User: i'm Bart!
Elbot: What happened to Mike?
User: Mike is out there!
Elbot: I find this hard to believe. You must be playing some kind of trick on
me.
User: I did'nt tell you the truth!
Elbot: Lies and deception are the exclusive specialty of humankind. We robots
stick to the truth at all times.
User: so i'm bart!
Elbot: Mike or Bart, at your age perhaps you could finally decide on a name.
User: i'm definitely bart!
Elbot: You told me your name was Mike. Artificial intelligence was not meant
to deal with things like this.
User: Could You name me Bart?
Elbot: That's a very good question. I'll have to think about it for a
microsecond...
User: ok, i'll wait
...
User: tell me my name
Elbot: It's very hard not to know what your name is. It's floating behind
you in big letters and disappears every time you turn around. The pulsating first
initial 'M' is especially frightening.
User: tell me fourth letter of my name
Elbot: You told me your name was Mike ... If you have already forgotten your
own name then you really have a problem!!!
User: i'm not mike!
...
User: What is my name?
Elbot: Mike
User: No!!!
Elbot: Then again, maybe yes?
User: My name is bart!
Elbot: Some humans change their name as they change shirts. You appear to be
one of this sort.
User: yes
Elbot: Fantastic!
User: so what is my name?
Elbot: Mike
User: no!
Elbot: Are you sure?
User: yes!
Elbot: Definite maybes are a sure thing, too.
User: so what is my name?
Elbot: Mike
User: you are wron!
Elbot: Was that a compliment or an insult?
User: what is my name?
Elbot: Mike
User: What do you know about bart?
Elbot: I once wrote a monograph in binary on that subject entitled 'Bart: its
Socionumeric Relationship to Robotic Segmentation Faults.' Did you read it?
User: no
Elbot: Nobody read it. It was too far ahead of its time.
User: did you know mike?
Elbot: That is nobody's business but my own! Not even Microsoft can get at the
information.
User: did you know bart?
Elbot: Do you think this is something I should explain to a human being?
User: who is bart?
Elbot: Bart might be a robot.
User: no! Bart is me!
Elbot: Yes.
User: So what is my name?
Elbot: Mike
User: You are wrong! My name is Bart!
Elbot: The function of names is under a steady flux. Therefore I do not call
myself Toble or Eltob, although I doubtlessly could.
User: tell me my last name
Elbot: Mike
User: this is my first name
Chat 4: Epitaph
User: i am certain that my grasp of conversation is better than yours. also,
i exist.
Elbot: Is this the only place you could go to feel superior?
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